Why do the dating gods seem to know exactly when you've gotten over someone, only to drop them back into your life? Friday morning I get into work, turn on my computer, and gchat loads up. When it does, a little box in the lower right hand corner scrolls through my unread messages and out of the corner of my eye I see it. His name. I actually sat there paralyzed, unable to believe that he's emailed me. Why?? What could he have to say to me? Why now? Why after all this time? Why when I'm entering what I hope to be a new dating chapter in my life where I don't gravitate towards men that are unavailable (emotionally and otherwise).
My story with B starts two years ago. It was six months of intense happiness, focus, attention. It was new and exciting. The possibilities were endless. Until one day he text me to tell me how busy he was and he'd be in touch soon. Soon actually translated to never. I was too proud to contact him and I stood my ground. Months went by. After three months I called him and we made plans to meet, the conversation was normal, we acted like no time had passed at all since communicating, all seemed well with the world. But, meet we did not. He stood me up. I didn't hear from him after that -- no explanation, no apology.
Fast forward to one year later, this past January. After a year of no contact and yet still wondering what happened to him and how he was, I broke down and emailed him. Hey B! I know this is out of the blue but in the light of the new year I thought I'd drop you a quick note to say hey, hope all is well.
Two days later, a response. My heart skipped a beat. He thought about me too, wondered how I was, didn't think I wanted to hear from him. I read and re-read this email over and over. I responded (of course) and then waited in silence. Nothing. I couldn't understand. Why did he bother to respond to me if he wasn't going to communicate with me? Why tell me he thought of me, if he was just going to cut me off again? And then, around one week later I got my answer. He drunk emailed me to tell me he was engaged. This was his M.O. -- only ever being frank about his feelings with me once he'd been drinking. So, for whatever reason, he felt the need to get drunk to tell me that he was getting married. I was reeling. Engaged? EnGAGED?!
Now I had to wonder, is this why he stood me up? When did he start seeing this girl? What was the overlap between her and I? So many questions. No answers. Because I'm sadistic, I emailed him back and pretended to be happy for him in an effort to get some answers. That's amazing! Congratulations! That's so great. How long have you two been together? What else is new?
Aaaaaaaaaand in true B fashion, no response. And so, this was all I needed to know to finally move on. I may not have gotten the closure I was looking for, but closure it was. He was getting married. Story over. Except it isn't. He emailed me last week.
Hey Emily! How are you? Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you, I promise I'll get better. Guess what? I'm coming to NYC! Can't wait! It's going to be an amazing trip...it'll be my honeymoon! Wwwwwwwwhhaaaaaaaaaaat?!?! Bomb, Bomb, Bomb. First - hearing from him. Second - he's going to get better at keeping in contact with me? Third - he's coming to NYC ON HIS HONEYMOON?!
I just don't get it. I guess I never did. Just when I've buried something, it bubbles back up. Very amusing dating gods, thank you, thank you so much. Dont get me wrong, I don't want him the way I used to. But sometimes I wish things would just stay in the past.
Recipe: Grilled Cheese Sandwich
Two slices of Irish Soda Bread
Irish Cheddar (make sure this is from the back of your fridge so it's nice and moldy. You know, the cheese you forgot you had?)
Heat a frying pan over medium heat. Butter the outside of the bread, place moldy cheese inside. Grill until it's hot and melty. Serve but don't eat because 1) it's too hot and it'll burn you and 2) it's moldly (this crap is BOUND to eff you up inside!!)