Thursday, July 16, 2009

Emily - My First Attempt: Online Dating

Oh, the stigma of online dating. It's said in hushed tones....they It's almost like it's an admission of being the worst kind of single - the one who couldn't actually meet someone in real life....they had to go ONLINE. Shock! Horror! Shame! Is meeting online the sexual equivalent to arriving at a dinner party with a pie, only having to admit that you bought it at the gas station on the way over? Looks like one thing, but is really a cheap, cheaters version of the real thing? Mmm, pie. Ok, distraction over.

In this digital age we live in where we google potential suitors names, search for them on facebook, follow their blogs, clandestine cyberstalk; you'd think meeting people online wouldn't be given a second thought. But it does. I love the split second hesitation I get when I tell people I'm going to try online dating and have a profile on eharmony. There is the briefest of pauses and then the, "wow! that's great! totally!" delivered with a smile and a glint of "thank god that is not me" behind their eyes. I actually know more than one couple that met on eharmony and are now married. And since the government says advertisements can't lie, I believe those ads with all those smiling couples that say they've found their soul mate on the site, and I can too!! (for the low, low price of $75 for three months). Wow, that didn't sound jaded now did it?

Regardless. I DID pay that price for the chance to meet someone to date.

I sign onto eharmony and am slightly daunted by what I'm faced with. I have 1,493 matches. Yes, over one thousand. Where do I even begin? Before I even start, I'm faced with a small delay -- lots of "closed" matches. These are guys that aren't interested. Awesome. Now, I get it - not every man on the planet is going to want to pursue a relationship with me - but imagine signing on and spending 45 minutes closing out matches that have already been closed. Let me tell you 45 minutes of acknowledging rejection after rejection can take a toll on your desire to continue this process. But, I trudge on. I am currently in the various stages of communication (on eharmony there are 4) with ten different guys.

How many am I excited about? Three. And one I haven't heard from in weeks (my suspicion is that his membership ran out). I'm trying to keep an open mind and am initiating communication with any man whose profile intrigues me. This usually means something that makes me laugh but I usually give consideration to: a complete profile (there are many that half-assed or not complete), someone that doesn't drone on and on about how buff they think they are, or how much they love their favorite sports teams. I am also suspicious of men who do not have profile pictures. Come on people! In this digital age, who DOESN'T have a digital photo of themselves?? Highly suspect. I'm not going beat around the bush here -- if HE'S too embarrassed to post a picture of himself, that doesn't bode well for me.

So what DOES make me quiver with excitement and anticipation? Well, that happened today. I received an email from a teacher in the Bronx, where he talked about something near and dear to my heart: Buffalo. Done! Funny, sweet, tied into my profile, and had a great writing voice. Understandably, he's a teacher, so I'd be really disappointed if he used bad grammar and punctuation, but he didn't! A fully completed profile! Pictures! Not too much for a girl to ask for, if you're asking this girl, that is.

So -- I'll leave here and go back over there, I have 1,493 men to cyberstalk.

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