As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been in contact with dudes on OKC. Here is my one large takeaway and piece of advice to the opposite sex.
We are all sexual beings (some more than others) and I understand that we all have our “things”. For me, I like hands. And broad backs. I like manly men. Rugby players and Paul Bunyons are right up my alley. There are boob men. And ass men. And men who like skinny girls, curvy girls, and everything in between. We all have our things, I get it. However, I don’t want to know your sexual proclivity within the first five minutes of chatting with you. That is not enough time. But it IS enough time for me to say, um, okay, you just flew your freak flag too soon aaaaaaaaaand Ima peace out now.
When I am IMd on OKC I usually respond when 1) I’m in the mood to :-/ (I know) and 2) your picture seems attractive to me on some level, and lastly 3) if you start of the conversation with some sort of compliment. This will at the very least elicit a “hey” back.
On a few separate occasions, I have been in conversation with a dude and it’s gone something like this:
Dude: you’ve got a beautiful smile. How’s your night going?
me: aw, thanks. :-) it’s going well, you?
Dude: blah blah blah, more flirting
me: teehee, flirt flirt
Dude: talk nonchalantly about how awesome I am
me: I find that very interesting!
Dude: (out of blue) will you send me a picture of your feet?
me: _______no response______
Dude: hello? Did I say something?
me: ______no response_______
Dude: so, no picture?
Dude: how about I come over and give you a foot massage?
or:
Dude: Hi….I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re beautiful
me: hey :-) thanks!
Dude: talking talking talking about something he’s seen in my profile
me: yeah, I’m half Canadian but I was born in the US
Dude: I love Buffalo! And chicken wings!
me: {thinking, ooooooo, I think I like this guy!} I have to warn you though, I’m a chicken wing snob….
Dude: (conversation segwaying into what we do professionally) I’m an “Ad Man”
me: I throw him some ad jargon to show I’m advertising savvy and interested in him
Dude: you know what I do! you’re brilliant!
me: :-)
Dude: tell me about your legs
me:{AW MAN! flew his freak flag, aaaaaaaand I’m done}
Ad Man had potential, and I would have definitely gone on a date with him. Incidentally, I did flirt with him a little bit longer and gave him my number, which he called and that I let go to VM. What can I say? I think of myself as a ’nice girl’, but no I’m not perfect. Why didn’t I pick up the phone when he called? Because he flew his freak flag too soon. It does not bother me that legs are his thing. Totally fine. But to bring it up on this medium and that soon, it just doesn’t jive with me.
I guess I’m looking for a little bit more of a gentleman. I, too, want a gentleman on the street but a freak in the bed -- as they say. Let’s fly our freak flags people, but in the right place and time. Just a thought. Incidentally, if you want to send me a picture of you that shows your non-hobbit-like hands, that would be okay too.
YES! These are the exact reasons I was only on ok cupid for about 4 days. But I think it's because there are two approaches (for men): The "long-term investment" [i.e. hmm, i could see myself on at least a few successive dates with this girl, let's show her how great I can be and hopefully by the second or third date we can pork softly on my bearskin rug in front of the fireplace]. And then there's the [more popular] "sow the seeds" approach, [you'll see this at bars, too] where the man has one or two lines that use barely any effort at all, and flings them out there, wildly into oblivion, scattering the seeds in the fertile soil. And [AT LEAST] one of those seeds will grow into a flower. Which the man can put his penis in. I don't understand science but I think that's how it goes.
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