Thursday, September 3, 2009

PDA: When is it Appropriate?

I'll give eharmony credit; both boys the site matched me up with I found myself compatible with. But chemistry there was not. Here is the story of Boy #1, (which I mentioned in my initial blog about online dating).

B#1 and I were matched in the beginning of July and went through the communication stages very quickly. I liked his profile but didn't love his pictures, but had previously decided to keep an open mind. He was funny, the emails were long. He offered up his personal email address, I offered up mine. A few days later he gave me his phone number, I asked if he wanted to meet. He did; enthusiastically.

We decided to meet for dinner on a Monday. I told him I worked in Midtown East, he chose two restaurants in my neighborhood. So, he was funny AND considerate! Bonus. He made reservations for 6:15 and asked if I wanted to meet for drinks before dinner? That seemed okay with me; I thought it was a good sign that he thought we had enough to talk about to do drinks AND dinner.

The day of the first date arrived. I stood there waiting for him, and around the corner he comes. I'll admit it, I was slightly disappointed in what was grinning back at me. But! I'm a big supporter in letting chemistry and attraction build and I liked what he put on the table thus far, the date had begun, so I settled in for the evening. When we moved from drinks to dinner, it started to rain and I of course did not have an umbrella. He pulls his out and covers me with it....funny, considerate AND a gentlemen!

We eat dinner, conversation is fine but I'm looking at him thinking: do I want to kiss this guy at the end of the evening? Hmm....err, I....dont....think I do. Dinner ends and he asks what I'm doing, he's having a good time, do I want to get a drink? At this point I could have taken or left the drink, but because I have a difficult time saying no, I say yes. We head over to a pub I frequent after work.

We get some beers, continue our conversation. Drink our beers, I say it's time to head out. As we walk to Grand Central he tries to set up plans to see me again this week before I leave for vacation but I felt like two dates in one week was too much, so I make excuses. We walk down to the subway...and this next part happens so quickly.....

I'm pointing to the entrance to the 7 Train saying, "well, that's me...."
He's saying, "please let's do this again", and then his face is coming towards mine....and I'm thinking, okay, a kiss is fine....and then his tongue is in my mouth....!!
I pull back and he says, "please...?" and again I don't know how to say no, so then I'm letting him kiss me. In public. In Grand Central Station. For an extended period of time. And it's not good.

He's jabbing my mouth with his tongue and then the internal monologue starts; "oh my god! I am making out in Grand Central Station! In the subway! Where everyone can see me! OH MY GOD I am THAT girl!! ....jesus, this dude is going to kiss me for as long as I let him."

So I pull back and he says, "let's do this again, please...."
I say good-night and scurry away....then I wipe my chin three times because there is slobber on it.

Now what do I do?? The date was fine except for the last 10 minutes....I would definitely had said yes to a second date but now wasn't so sure....what happened in the subway was, for me, on the aggressive side and the desperation on his face when he said please was.....kinda concerning.

Plus side: sweet, funny, considerate, gentlemen (strike that, after the tongue-rape, not so much). Con side: potentially too horny for his own good, lack of chemistry.

And so ends my first date with B#1.

Recipe: Beef Tongue
It's expensive, but there are no bones - it's all meat.

1 (2-3 lb) beef tongue
1/4 tsp. oregano
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. marjoram
1/4. tsp summer savory

Rinse tongue. Place in pressure cooker. Add water to cover. Add the remaining ingredients. Pressure cook 1 hour at 10 or 15 pounds. Remove from pan and allow to cool enough to handle. Remove connective tissues and skin. The skin should come off easily. Cut into 1/4 inch slices across it's length. At this point, the meat can be used as you desire.

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