Online Dating. Free versus Paid.

Last summer I joined eharmony and dated (unsuccessfully) a few males. Over the winter I joined match.com and dated no one. Eharmony was really good at matching me up with people that I was compatible with, I simply didn’t have any chemistry with them……and the dudes on eharmony weren’t….um……..very attractive. On match.com, however, the profiles featured more attractive males, but I didn’t get the “success” that I did on eharmony. And after paying around $300 for my time on those sites I gave up on paying.

Paid sites discarded, I joined the masses on Okcupid.com. Here’s the lowdown on OKC. Pros: I get more traffic and contact on OKC than I did on the paid sites. Cons: when you click on someone’s profile and they’re online, they get a little notification that you’ve just looked at their profile. For whatever reason, I hate this. I do not want people knowing that I’m scoping them out. I know, it shouldn’t matter - it's a DATING site, but I hate this aspect of the site. I usually say an expletive out loud and immediately close the browser. This is how much I hate this site. Pro/Con: there is an IM feature. It’s a Pro in that it allows you to connect with someone immediately, it’s a Con in that I usually don’t feel like responding.

Remember how I just told you that someone can see that you’re checking them out? This is how it goes: I’m on the site, trolling for an attractive, non-crazy, hopefully employed, funny, interesting, non-self involved, intelligent man that hasn’t been snatched up yet and someone who is none of those things will IM me. But I need to click on their profile before I know this. So I do. And now they know I’ve checked them out. But I don’t want to talk to them. It’s just a basketful of uncomfortableness before I curse and close my browser.

Generalizations about people on OKC: the people on this site are more prone to be looking for someone to hook up than looking for someone to have a fruitful LTR with. Because of this I encounter many interesting men. And am IMd by them. And have quite a few interesting conversations with them (specific blog on this to come).

So, as I said in my last post, I am taking up the dating mantle again and giving online dating the ole college try. Paid sites out, free site in. And oh, its just as entertaining out there as ever!

Recipe:

Hang around your office meeting rooms around 2pm where you are bound to find free food leftover from lunch meetings. The food might be a little slimy, but at least it's free.

Dating with a Dash v2.0

Well, hello there! I bet you thought this blog was defunct, but you were wrong! Like the winter season, we were in hibernation but now we’re back with a vengeance! The summer months are quickly approaching, leaving us with the desire to get out there and explore not just the city, but the dating world as well.

You will notice a few changes to the blog, however. Once a trio of ladies, we are now down by one. Ms. Kelly has entered the realm of having a Plus One and will no longer be a contributor to this illustrious blog. She has found her Significant Other by the hand of yours truly and I take all credit for making this match happen. Male or Female, I full out expect them to name their first child Emily. Secondly, we will be introducing a male contributor! Gentleman X will be blogging occasionally and I think a male perspective here will be welcome and………interesting. J

Those are the updates here at Dating with a Dash of Salt. We’ll be posting new entries soon!

Dating, but Not.

I haven't been on a "date" in a while. Hence, the silence. I haven't been dating because 1) eharmony was exhausting and not fruitful, and 2) I was crushin' on someone else. It's funny how much clearer things are when you're on the other side of them. In the thick of this, I could not see the forest through the trees. Now, I'm hitting the clearing and seeing, wow, I just wasted a lot of time on that.

I was told from the outset that this male was not interested in a relationship. I did not listen. I guess I kinda figured that after an appropriate amount of time, he would get over the ex, realize that I was amazing....and, well, choose me. He did not. But strangely enough, it's okay.

I'd been in this weird purgatory of not knowing where we stood since we were friends.... but not just friends. Last week I did what every adult woman does. I got wasted by myself and wrote him a long incoherent email. I am very mature. We eventually discussed the e-mail and while, kindly, he did not come out and say the words, "I do not like you. Because, you smell." he didn't need to. Sometimes silence says what words do not.

As much as I thought hearing (or not hearing) that phrase would suck, it didn't. I feel surprisingly better. Freer. Now that I know that this will never become more than it is/was, I can look forward. Perhaps I should have tried my drunken tactics a few months ago.

me: "Hey! You! You're rad, I like you!"

him: "oh, yeah, about that....."

me: "oh, really? huh. Okay, good to know"

The End.

And now I can move on. I don't know if it's back to online dating or what my next tactic will be. But hey, it's a new year and now I'm not reserving part of myself in denied hope that this was going to become something.

Here's to fresh starts!

Lemon Meringue Pie (because it's sweet, tart, and FRESH!)

Ingredients

Lemon Filling:

• 4 egg yolks (reserve whites for meringue)
• 1/3 cup cornstarch
• 1 1/2 cups water
• 1 1/3 cups sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 1/2 cup lemon juice
• 1 tablespoon finely grated lemon zest
• 1 (9-inch) pre-baked pie shell
• 1 recipe Meringue, recipe follows

Directions

Adjust the oven rack to the middle position. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Whisk egg yolks in medium size mixing bowl and set aside.

In a medium saucepan, combine cornstarch, water, sugar, and salt. Whisk to combine. Turn heat on medium and, stirring frequently, bring mixture to a boil. Boil for 1 minute. Remove from heat and gradually, 1 whisk-full at a time, add hot mixture to egg yolks and stir until you have added at least half of the mixture.

Return egg mixture to saucepan, turn heat down to low and cook, stirring constantly, for 1 more minute. Remove from heat and gently stir in butter, lemon juice, and zest until well combined. Pour mixture into pie shell and top with meringue while filling is still hot. Make sure meringue completely covers filling and that it goes right up to the edge of the crust. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until meringue is golden. Remove from oven and cool on a wire rack. Make sure pie is cooled completely before slicing.

Meringue Topping:

• 4 egg whites
• 1 pinch cream of tartar
• 2 tablespoons sugar

Place egg whites and cream of tartar in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment. Beat egg whites until soft peaks form and then gradually add sugar and continue beating until stiff peaks form, approximately 1 to 2 minutes. Use to top lemon filling.

Yield: topping for 1 (9-inch) pie

It’s not me. It’s you. And your teenage angst.

Two of my best friends have lately suffered the same agonizing, horrifying fate.

It begins innocently enough. Two people meet, go out on a couple of dates. Maybe hit the sack once or twice…”I really like you”…”I like you, too”…and then bam…out of left field someone drops the, “I think you are great, but I’m just not emotionally available right now.”

Sometimes it continues with an explanation, “Once, in high school my girlfriend cheated on me and it ruined me for life. Even though that was over 8 years ago, I’m just not ready to let anyone in.”

Then one glistening tear falls down their face. So. Much. Emotion.

These words are, of course, teenage angst in a new and demented form. In New York it happens once every 13 minutes. Or once every 5 minutes if you are unlucky enough to inhabit Brooklyn. Unfortunately, most of my friends are attracted to Brooklynites like a moth to the flame.

And then, after the bomb of “emotionally unavailable” explodes the relationship into a zillion tiny little pieces that can never be put back together, he or she discovers that emotionally unavailable person is dating someone else. And then he or she feels like shit. Complete and utter shit. The type of shit that gets stuck on your shoe, dries and then leaves shit all over your apt in little dried up shitballs.

Even after the shitballs are vacuumed and the carpet fabreezed, they live on because you’ve only destroyed their body. Not their soul. Because the shitballs were really horcruxes and you only destroyed 3 of the necessary seven. That is shit science, my friends.

The shitball seed of doubt has been planted, and for weeks, nay months, every action of the opposite sex either affirms or denies their self worth.

We have all been there. I know I certainly have many times. And I know what you are thinking, and you are correct, she is totally not as pretty as me. She has nice hair, but other than that she is busted. And her personality sucks, too. Also. Did I mention that she sucks? One more time: she sucks.

But despite how sucky she may be, reality is he picked her. And they are in love. And they will probably get married and dilute his glorious, glorious genes with her sucky ones, and they will have completely average children who eat glue and almost fail out of college due to their excessive drinking habits, whereas our children would have written the next great American novel and won the Nobel Peace Prize for their work with orphans in the Congo.

We all have choices. He chose wrong. But that is not the point.

The point is: in his emotionally unavailable pity party he didn’t realize those things and he doesn’t deserve to have Noble Peace Prize winning children with me. The end.

Also, some people want average. They don’t want the challenge that comes with smart or funny or quirky or whatever else. Some people just want what society has told them to want and they don’t want to work hard for it.

The best way I can describe this is by paraphrasing something this guy said on The Real World last night to describe a girl he was dating.

“I like her because she is blond. I like that she has a nice body. I like that she says ditzy things when we hang out. I like that she has a high voice. Those are important qualities to me.”

Despite the fact that everything that comes out of his mouth is usually purposefully inflammatory, he was being serious. I turned to my roommate and said, “That is what is wrong with kids today.”

Someone’s hair color is not a quality. And someone worth being with isn’t going to think that way, because to think that way is to make everyone interchangeable. That is some Brave New World bullshit.

In my wise old age of 24, I know that I never want to be reduced to a string of physical qualities and any guy who doesn’t see how awesome I am for actual, quality reasons isn’t worth my time.

Sometimes relationships don’t work out for real reasons, clearly, some people just aren’t compatible. But if the “emotionally unavailable” card is ever played my advice is to run. Run far, far away. Because nothing screams “emotional immaturity” as loud or as clear. Even if they are 32. And you are better without them, because they didn’t appreciate you fully to begin with.

And when they do date someone else who you are far superior to, take some solace in the fact that they probably only like them for their stupid hair and fat ass. And you, my friend, are much, much more than that.

Lastly, do everything in your power to destroy those last horcruxes. My general advice is to tell my friends to get a hobby, which they don't really appreciate, but I think is sound advice. It will make you even more well-rounded than you already are.

Recipe for Shitballs.

Step on some shit.
Let it dry out.
Walk around your Apt.

Don't be a blowhole

Hello! Did you miss me? I know, it’s been a while since I enthralled you with my ever fascinating and nearly always unsatisfying dating endeavors. You’re probably asking yourself, “Mandy, where have you been?” Well friends, as a direct result of Kelly’s amazing craigslist post I actually started “dating” someone. Don’t worry though; I’m back in the game. One day I’ll regale you with stories about that “relationship” or lack thereof but we’ll save that for a later date because 1. Not enough time has elapsed 2. I actually liked him 3. Though, I hate to admit it, maybe I’m still a little sad

Phew, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s move onto the topic at hand. Something that has been on my mind for the last few days: Rejection. The most feared and hated word in the realm of dating. Let’s face it, we’ve all been on the giving and receiving end of rejection….the verdict: it sucks. In this entry I would like to discuss rejection as it relates to the initial ask out or first date. I will do so through an experience which took place exactly one week ago.
Despite the fact that I had already given my two weeks, had slim to no company pride and ceased to be an employee on Friday when the race was on Sunday, I still signed up to be on my company’s running team for the annual Susan G. Komen “Race for the Cure” 5k. I can almost justify it because it was for a good cause… I mean, I’m apathetic, not made of stone. Anyway, after wading through the sea of pink I finally found my team. They apparently all knew each other from work and I was the odd man out. I almost immediately regretted my decision and thought how ironic it was that I was seriously contemplating running away. But I had already made the effort to meet up with them, so I held it together and put on my best “Hey there” smile. The vast majority of the people on the team seemed just as uninterested in knowing me as I was in knowing them. Except for one very funny and extremely attractive man named Peter, who shared my eagerness to make fun of our matching company hats. He was tall, about 6’1” slender body, with crystal blue eyes – totally adorable. We chatted our way to the starting line. We talked about running, where we went to college, my dorky yet functional fanny pack, my new job and the fact that Cyndi Lauper (fuck yeah) had just sang our national anthem. I felt like I was getting ‘the vibe” from him but alas, the race started and we were swallowed by the crowd of people behind us.

I couldn’t help but think my dear friend Peter had been a missed opportunity. I got over the fact that it made me feel like an internet creeper and found his email on our team list. Hell, I’m a modern woman not held down by societal restraints and so I have no problem “throwing it out there” and asking someone out. I mean, you’ll never get want you want unless you ask, right? I sent him a hilarious/witty email and straight up asked him if he wanted to get a drink sometime. After a solid 2 days he responded back with an equally funny email, asking me about my new job and where it was located. He never responded to my drink question but I thought maybe by asking where my job was he was doing “the set up”. One day went by, then two, then three….. Nothing. I had been blown off. It got me thinking. Why wouldn’t he just politely decline? Why even send me an email back?

I have come to the realization that I am an anomaly when dealing with rejection. At this point in my life, I neither fear or care about rejection…I mean, within reason. Let me clarify. I know what I want: to be in a relationship. I know what I don’t want : a new friend (I already have plenty of friends, thank you) When you are initially asking someone out, its because you think they’re interesting, attractive and/or someone you could see yourself spending time with. You aren’t really invested in that person yet because you know there are plenty of other potential suitors that fit the qualities listed above. Therefore, I in no way, feel hurt or slighted if someone declines my invitation. I chalk it up to that’s the way dating is and move onto someone else who would like to spend their time with me. The only thing that really “grinds my gears” is when that person does not let you know that they are not interested. People either over estimate what they’re rejection with do or they don’t want to look like the bad guy. By responding – Peter probably thought that he was being nice… perhaps he genuinely cared how my new job was going. As a result for the next 3 days I thought that I would be seeing him again. The moral of the story – if you’re not interested… say so. I will gladly move on to the next. The saying “There are plenty of other fish in the sea,” got it right. So, don’t be a blowhole.



Recipe: PECAN TILAPIA FOR TWO



• Handful of roasted pecan halves or pieces

• 1 tablespoon butter, melted

• 2 tilapia fillets, skinned and boned

• Juice from 1 Persian lime

• Salt to sprinkle

• Touch of white pepper

• 1/4 cup plain fine bread crumbs

• 1 small shallot, minced

• 3 tablespoons butter

• 1/4 teaspoon Madras curry powder

• 1/4 teaspoon ground coriander seed

• 1 seedless Florida navel orange, membranes removed and sectioned

• Optional: chopped curly parsley or cilantro leaves



1. In a small pan, warm the pecans in the butter until coated. Keep warm in the pan.

2. Saturate the tilapia fillets in the lime juice and sprinkle salt over.

3. Add a touch of white pepper to the bread crumbs and coat the fillets. Set aside.

4. In a shallow, non-stick skillet, cook the shallot in the butter over low heat until soft. Stir in the curry powder and coriander. Add the fillets, turning the heat to medium. Cook less than 1 minute, or until browned on one side. Turn fillets over and cook until browned on the other.

5. Remove fillets to two plates. Cover with the nuts and set orange segments across the top or around the plate with chopped parsley or cilantro leaves for color.



Note: Crushed pecans may be substituted for the bread crumbs to coat the fillets.

The Middle and The End

Ok. Where were we? Ah, the tales of Boy #1. After he molested my face I scurried home and debriefed the date with my roommate and closest friends. They all screamed, squealed, laughed and mostly responded, "oh nOOO!", when I told them about the end of the date. Overall consensus from my friends? Do not date him. But either I'm glutton for punishment or simply have a hard time saying no (which is evidenced by the fact that I literally let him kiss me merely because I didn't want to hurt his feeling), because I somehow ended up on a second date with him.

He text me the day after our first date; I hesitated about responding because I wasn't sure if I was going to go out with him again. I text back nonchalantly. He emailed the next day. I did not respond. Then I left for a 10 day vacation.

I vowed to keep my blackberry off; I was not successful. I turned on my phone and there was a text from him! Again, I didn't respond. He emailed me the day before I was supposed to return home....I waited, and then responded. Since a good two weeks had passed since our first date, I must have blocked out all the bad stuff because I agreed to meet up with him for a lunch date.

I figured that a lunch date would be best because there was a definitive start and end, and there would be no (hopefully) awkward kissing at the end. (Can you sense the foreshadowing here?) I told him to meet me at my office at noon and we'd go somewhere close. I made an appointment to give blood at 1 p.m. and asked a coworker/friend to meet me in order to, again, avoid any awkward PDA.

He walked up, tried to kiss me hello.....in front of my office building....during the work day. Yeah.....no. I deflected to the cheek and hugged him. We went to lunch and conversation was fine, but nothing remarkable. I started to feel like I could say anything and it wouldn't matter. He was staring at me like a magpie stares at sparkle-y things. Our hour ended and we walked back to my building so I could give blood. My coworker/friend arrived and as I went to say good bye....his face came towards mine again. Really? REALLY?!

I seriously was feeling some disbelief. I didn't let him kiss me hello, so what made him think I was going to let him kiss me good-bye in front of my coworker?? Again, I deflected but he kinda tried to move his mouth over mine. Clearly this boy wasn't reading my body language very well.

Now it was his turn to leave for a week. Unlike our time apart where he continually contacted me, I did not contact him. I realize while typing this that clearly I didn't have enough interest in this boy. So you may be wondering why I continued to date him..... Well. I believe that chemistry can build. And he was sweet! And. Well. He Liked me. Clearly.

He returns from his sojourn and I asked him to hang in my neighborhood. I figured that maybe we needed some time to just "hang". Some no-pressure, not date-y type time. I asked him to come to Queens (realizing later how this might be construed).

He arrived with flowers. Very sweet. And here is where I will elicit your judgement. They were ugly. It was akin to a $2 bouquet. One carnation and some dyed daisies. And I KNOW how this sounds. It makes me sound stuck up and ungrateful. I'm just trying to be honest here - and here's the thing; if I really liked this boy, I would have (probably?) thought they were the best flowers ever! But in the moment I thought, um, if we're in the woo-ing stage and this is all you're bringing to the table, where does it go from here?

We ate. We conversed. Again, I was not impressed by anything coming out of his mouth. You know that feeling you get when you're talking to an eight year old and they're telling you about their friend Jimmy's pet frog and you don't really care about the frog or the story, but they're so excited that you're happy to listen? That's what talking to him was like.

After an hour and a half I was already thinking up reasons to tell him he had to go. We decided to walk around the neighborhood and as we left the apartment, he didn't reach to bring his manbag with him. I thought, great, crap, now we're going to have to come BACK to the apartment!! Grr. (again, not a good sign).

We walked around for around an hour, no magic, no sparks. I told him I had plans that evening and had to start getting ready soon. Hint hint. I think he took that hint to mean, let's go into Manhattan together. Either that or why don't you hang here while I get ready? Um, not what I meant.

Back at the apartment I gave him the "it's time for you to go" stance. He wanted to make out. So I made rambling conversation. I tend to get a bad case of verbal vomit when I'm nervous. Well, I'm pretty verbose to begin with, but it gets worse when I'm nervous. Much worse. He tried to make plans to see me again and I start rambling on and on about what I've got going on and he's staring at me with this puppy dog look on his face that's screaming, why are you blowing me off?

So I tell him I'll be in touch tomorrow to let him know what my week is looking like. He goes to kiss me again. And licks my face. Chin to nose, licks me, trying to gain entrance. I think he was never told that it's lips first, then tongue. I pull back, and make things wonderfully, horribly awkward. I tell him that I just, I, um, I (clasp hands) need some....time.

He responds, I can wait....

Crap. He thinks I mean something else. Why do I do this to myself?!

So he goes for the door, I thank him for coming out to Queens, I thank him for the flowers. And then because I'm the queen of mixed signals, I kiss him good-bye. But I felt badly! He just looked so downtrodden.....

After much thought and insight from the two other ladies on this blog, I realize that if I really truly liked him, I'd be making time for him in my schedule and that perhaps the only thing I liked about him, was that HE liked me. True. Nail to the heart. I needed to end this.

So I bite the bullet and send him an email the next day. An honest email. I say that I realized that if I felt differently about him, that I'd be clearing my schedule to see him and that he was too sweet of a guy for me to set false expectations. That it'd been nice getting to know him and that I hoped he finds what he's looking for.

He emails back immediately saying that he'd be lying if he didn't tell me he was starting to feel the same way, wondering why I wasn't making time for him. That he, too, wished the best for me and hoped I would find what I was looking for.

And that's exactly why I dated him for as many times as I did. He was sweet. A really nice, sweet guy. He'd be the perfect boyfriend; always there for you, gives you space when you need it, doesn't wait to call/text/email, doesn't play games. But you have to account for chemistry, of which we had none. And that, is the bottom line. Chemistry can make you overlook a closet full of flaws, imperfections and annoyances. Chemistry is what makes bad relationships hard to walk away from and takes good relationships to the horizon. But, without chemistry all you're left with is a face licker and sad flowers.

Recipe: Molten Chocolate Cake

note: Use bittersweet chocolate. Cake is bittersweet and looks delicious, but when you bite into it, all you'll find is wetness.

1/2 cup (113 grams) unsalted butter, cut into pieces

6 ounces (170 grams) semi sweet or bittersweet chocolate, cut into small pieces

3 large eggs, separated

1/3 cup (65 grams) granulated white sugar

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar

1 tablespoon (15 grams) granulated white sugar

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C) and place rack in center of oven. Generously butter 4 - 3/4 cup (180 ml) molds, ramekins, or custard cups and dust the insides with granulated white sugar. Place the prepared molds on a baking sheet and set aside while you make the cake batter.

In a stainless steel bowl suspended over a saucepan of simmering water, melt the butter and chocolate. Remove from heat and set aside while you whip the egg yolks.

In your electric mixer beat the egg yolks and 1/3 cup (65 grams) sugar untilthick, pale, and fluffy. (When you slowly raise the beaters the batter will fall back into the bowl in slow ribbons.) Beat in the vanilla extract and then fold in the melted chocolate mixture.

In another clean bowl whip the egg whites until frothy. Add the cream of tartar and continue to whip until soft peaks form. Gradually add the 1 tablespoon of granulated white sugar and whip until stiff peaks form. With a rubber spatula or wire whisk gently fold the beaten whites into the chocolate mixture, just until incorporated. Do not over mix or the batter will deflate. Divide the batter between the prepared molds, filling each about 3/4 full. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes or until the outside edges of the cakes are set but the middle still looks a little wet and wobbly. You may have cracks on the top surface of the cakes.

Immediately remove from oven and let them rest for a minute or two. Run a palette or sharp knife around the edge of each cake and then invert onto the center of each serving plate. Carefully remove the mold. Sprinkle the top of each cake with confectioners sugar and place a dollop of softly whipped cream, clotted cream, creme fraiche, or vanilla ice cream on top of each warm cake.

Note: You can prepare the batter several hours ahead of time. Simply make the recipe, pour into the prepared molds, cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate. Bake just before serving. When the batter is cold the cakes may take a minute or two longer to bake.

Makes 4 - 3/4 cup (180 ml) individual cakes.

PDA: When is it Appropriate?

I'll give eharmony credit; both boys the site matched me up with I found myself compatible with. But chemistry there was not. Here is the story of Boy #1, (which I mentioned in my initial blog about online dating).

B#1 and I were matched in the beginning of July and went through the communication stages very quickly. I liked his profile but didn't love his pictures, but had previously decided to keep an open mind. He was funny, the emails were long. He offered up his personal email address, I offered up mine. A few days later he gave me his phone number, I asked if he wanted to meet. He did; enthusiastically.

We decided to meet for dinner on a Monday. I told him I worked in Midtown East, he chose two restaurants in my neighborhood. So, he was funny AND considerate! Bonus. He made reservations for 6:15 and asked if I wanted to meet for drinks before dinner? That seemed okay with me; I thought it was a good sign that he thought we had enough to talk about to do drinks AND dinner.

The day of the first date arrived. I stood there waiting for him, and around the corner he comes. I'll admit it, I was slightly disappointed in what was grinning back at me. But! I'm a big supporter in letting chemistry and attraction build and I liked what he put on the table thus far, the date had begun, so I settled in for the evening. When we moved from drinks to dinner, it started to rain and I of course did not have an umbrella. He pulls his out and covers me with it....funny, considerate AND a gentlemen!

We eat dinner, conversation is fine but I'm looking at him thinking: do I want to kiss this guy at the end of the evening? Hmm....err, I....dont....think I do. Dinner ends and he asks what I'm doing, he's having a good time, do I want to get a drink? At this point I could have taken or left the drink, but because I have a difficult time saying no, I say yes. We head over to a pub I frequent after work.

We get some beers, continue our conversation. Drink our beers, I say it's time to head out. As we walk to Grand Central he tries to set up plans to see me again this week before I leave for vacation but I felt like two dates in one week was too much, so I make excuses. We walk down to the subway...and this next part happens so quickly.....

I'm pointing to the entrance to the 7 Train saying, "well, that's me...."
He's saying, "please let's do this again", and then his face is coming towards mine....and I'm thinking, okay, a kiss is fine....and then his tongue is in my mouth....!!

I pull back and he says, "please...?" and again I don't know how to say no, so then I'm letting him kiss me. In public. In Grand Central Station. For an extended period of time. And it's not good.

He's jabbing my mouth with his tongue and then the internal monologue starts; "oh my god! I am making out in Grand Central Station! In the subway! Where everyone can see me! OH MY GOD I am THAT girl!! ....jesus, this dude is going to kiss me for as long as I let him."

So I pull back and he says, "let's do this again, please...."

I say good-night and scurry away....then I wipe my chin three times because there is slobber on it.

Now what do I do?? The date was fine except for the last 10 minutes....I would definitely had said yes to a second date but now wasn't so sure....what happened in the subway was, for me, on the aggressive side and the desperation on his face when he said please was.....kinda concerning.

Plus side: sweet, funny, considerate, gentlemen (strike that, after the tongue-rape, not so much). Con side: potentially too horny for his own good, lack of chemistry.

And so ends my first date with B#1.

Recipe: Beef Tongue

It's expensive, but there are no bones - it's all meat.

1 (2-3 lb) beef tongue

1/4 tsp. oregano

1/2 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. marjoram

1/4. tsp summer savory

Rinse tongue. Place in pressure cooker. Add water to cover. Add the remaining ingredients. Pressure cook 1 hour at 10 or 15 pounds. Remove from pan and allow to cool enough to handle. Remove connective tissues and skin. The skin should come off easily. Cut into 1/4 inch slices across it's length. At this point, the meat can be used as you desire.